This kind of work is not easy under any conditions, but being warm—as opposed to sloshing through snow, sleet or rain—certainly does help the attitude and lessen the risk of slipping and falling in the line of duty. MI Spy operatives are not postal workers, after all; nothing says we deliver a report through sleet, rain or the dark of night. However, the info brought to you by MI Spy is important, and those of us committed to spying for the music industry must do our duty and get the job done no matter what.

My mission? Visit four stores in the Phoenix AZ area. I was to check out wired microphones, which could be used for speaking or singing. Fortunately for those around me, I did not need to test the product (singing is not my forte).
Not knowing the area very well, I first mapped out my plan of attack, making my best effort to keep from driving the Spymobile back and forth unnecessarily across the city. A vehicle of spy quality can be something of a gas hog.

(continue reading)

After a few weeks of lying low, I received a call from The Chief.
“Hop in your car and drive into the heart of the desert,” he barked. “I need you to find the best high-end guitar in Vegas.”
I scrambled to get my ducks in a row, jumped in my car and drove for miles on a sunny day into the desert toward Las Vegas. Reddish orange mountain ranges stretched out in all directions, barricading my car on one or both sides at different junctures. There was still some snow up in the desert mountains on my route in, and miles where the only things to see were cacti and tumbleweeds. “I hope my car doesn’t break down out here in the middle of nowhere,” I thought to myself at times. After a while, though, the desert lulled me into a trance-like state and, before I knew it, the casinos of Vegas stretched out in front of me, all lit up and beckoning visitors into timeless caverns in which gambling and all sorts of lavish fun could be had ’round the clock. But I wasn’t in Vegas to party—at least, not just yet. I was there to visit guitar stores…to search high and low for the best high-end models.
On the way to my first destination, traffic was bearable and navigation was pretty effortless. Everything seemed larger than life: the lanes wide and the casinos leaning in on me, trying to entice me through their doors. I pushed thoughts of high living out of my head, dead set on accomplishing my mission before the sun set over the mountains in the distance.

(continue reading)

The Chief gave me an assignment in a city that’s typically blustering with snow and wind in the middle of winter. “The assignments have to be done well in advance of their being published,” The Chief said. But, this time, I fooled the weather and The Chief. You see, on the spur of the moment, I found a day when a little sunshine was peeking out from under the clouds and the temperature was actually endurable…like all the way up to 30°.

It was a Saturday. I awoke, saw that little bit of sun and decided that this was the day I was going to catch a ray or two driving to Pittsburgh PA to explore music stores. It worked and, although it wasn’t the warmest of days, at least there was a little brightness. I even got to wear my shades on the two-hour drive there. (Well, I had them on for about five minutes, but that still counts.)

I arrived in “the Steel City” with no idea where the stores were, but, fortunately, the handy dandy GPS knew much more than a mere mortal ever could. I had no idea how big Pittsburgh is; it took an hour for me to go across town to get to each store. But, I found some interesting places, nice people and learned more than I needed to know about starter electric guitars. That was my assignment, you see: to buy a starter electric guitar, ostensibly for my grandson.

(continue reading.)

It was Independence Day. Or, at least, that’s the way it felt when I was traveling through Rhode Island on my most recent mission. And when I say “Independence Day,” I don’t actually mean in the traditional sense. Certainly not as in the summer-centric, family-oriented holiday that’s filled with fireworks and backyard barbecues. Far from it, in fact.

Let me explain. The Chief had asked me to drop what I was doing and head up to Rhode Island to scope out durable, versatile amplifiers for electric guitars. Fair enough, but Rhode Island? That’s an interesting, if offbeat, destination. Then, suddenly, it seemed to make sense. Prior to leaving for the Ocean State, I was reminded that Rhode Island was the first colony to declare independence from Britain, a fact that undoubtedly contributes to the perception that the people in the state like doing things their own way.

“Spy, due to the sensitive nature of your work, you’ll be out there alone,” The Chief told me. “No backup. Any issues with that?”

“None,” I respond. “Right now, working alone is the ticket for me.”

“Be extra careful, Spy,” The Chief said, “and don’t let this newfound freedom go to your head.”

“No worries, Chief,” I said with a slight laugh.

“Hmmm,” The Chief hummed, and then hung up.

With that, I drove off in my inconspicuous automobile (a Ferrari 458 Italia), heading to Rhode Island, which was just a few hours’ drive from my current locale. It’s been said that, when you travel through the Mississippi Delta, you can almost feel the blues rising up from the very soil. Similarly, Rhode Island’s rich history radiates throughout its culturally diverse cities and the mixture of architectural styles inherent to the state’s residential and government structures.

Rhode Island possesses a kind of hothouse individuality that was shaped by decades—centuries, really—of organic growth. Even just passing through the state brings to the surface a certain pioneering spirit that I still believe exists deep inside every American. I guess you could say that I’m Exhibit A. The more I drove around the snow-covered hills of the state, the more I wanted to go off the grid…step foot on land that appeared to my eyes to be pristine.

Motivated by what I was witnessing through my windshield, I felt bold enough to shut down the agency’s super-secret tracking/navigation device and live dangerously. I thought, “Well, I am all alone out here, right? Let the GPS gods be damned. If I get lost, I’ll find something extraordinary in the process.”

On this chilly day in one of the nation’s original colonies, I was feeling independent. I was feeling adventurous. I was feeling Rhode Island. And I’d soon also feel quite numb from walking around on the streets in the cold weather, especially after landing ankle-deep in a confounded mound of snow while approaching my second destination in Cranston. (More about what was on my agenda in a moment.) And judging by those whom I encountered during my journey, the MI pros certainly were not rude to me, nor were they oblivious to my needs. Yet, I can remember nary a full-court-press sales pitch. It was as if most of these salespeople were saying, “We want your business, but if you don’t buy anything from our store, have a nice day anyway.” Talk about individualism!

For such a small state (and I mean that in actual size, of course), Rhode Island certainly wasn’t insignificant to me. It left its indelible imprint (and sting) on my psyche (and bones). These were truly exquisite feelings that inspired this jaded Spy. Not bad for a day’s work.

(continue reading)

The downtown buildings of Sacramento still have that old-town appeal with brick facades, especially in one tiny tourist section called Old Sacramento. There, visitors to the city can enjoy saltwater taffy and cotton candy, get a tattoo, or grab something to eat or drink, walking down authentic cobblestone streets that are sometimes trafficked with horse-drawn carriages. Museums abound, complete with Sacramento history from newspaper clippings to full-sized replicas of what a kitchen would look like back in the day, a testament to how many hours people spent canning and preparing food. Modern conveniences are much appreciated after learning how hard the early pioneers of this area worked.

Sacramento grew out of easy access to the river nearby, in a time when a lot of California was much different…a wilder time. It’s hard to imagine now, driving through the tame, flat suburbs stretching on and on down the horizon, that this was once a gambling, drinking, rollicking town full of adventure. The adventure I seek now is as simple as visiting four different retail stores to suss out which one has the best selection of basses in the mid-range ballpark.

Kline Music
2200 Sutterville Rd.
Sacramento, CA 95822
The first stop on my list was Kline Music. As I headed toward the section of town where the building was, I passed a giant park full of lush greenery that begged to be walked in. I spotted dozens of young college students strolling around with books in hand—all of them clustered in pairs and groups—smiling, talking and laughing. As it turns out, Sacramento City College is directly across the street from Kline Music. I parked in the spacious lot behind the smallish, warehouse-type building and walked in the front door.

As I walked in the front entrance, I noticed a number of clerks behind a counter to my right, smiling and talking with customers. I headed into the box-like warehouse/room space, which was subdivided into different sections for sheet music, guitars, basses and amps, and easily found the section in which the basses were hanging high and low on the wall directly to the (continue reading)

After a night of rest in my plush bed at Tangerine Hotel, incidentally right next to Don Cuco, I got up, jumped into my car and headed toward Anaheim, the land of Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm. The weather was warm without being too hot, although the staff at the hotel that morning told me they could not wait until the weather stopped being so warm. I looked at them as though they were crazy. Hot weather is perfect for this Spy. Traffic was mild: I left a little past noon to make sure I didn’t hit any lunchtime commuter traffic coming out of Los Angeles. Driving away from the city, I noticed signs for pivotal locations such as the Hollywood Bowl.

The one thing about Los Angeles that almost everybody agrees upon is that the “City of Angels” is also the city of sitting in your car stuck in traffic. In order to get from one place to the next, you have to calculate a wide time bracket to accommodate the certainty of running into it. If you’re going out, say, to dinner with friends, you might make plans for 7pm and leave your house at 5:30pm, just in case.

The drive down to Anaheim was pretty non-descript. Regardless, it is imperative to pay attention to where you’re going when you’re driving in Southern California. As I rode over giant freeways, I navigated exit lanes coming at me from the right and the left, never quite being able to tell on which side my exit would be. Way to keep MI Spies on their toes! As I got closer to Anaheim, the scenery turned more and more nondescript, except for the ever-present palm trees jutting out from the sides of the road. I rode past hotels geared toward Disneyland tourists as I traversed a giant street through the amusement park hub of Anaheim, saying a silent “thank you” that my mission did not involve navigating that giant parking lot or any of the themed Disneyland hotels.

READ MORE

Today, I’m on a ferryboat headed to New England, and it’s peaceful out here on the drink. Maybe a little too peaceful…. Fellow Spies have warned me about the sea and how it changes you. Right now, sensing the fresh air, soothing winds and bright sunshine, I couldn’t care less what anyone has to say. About anything. I’m getting lost in the private moments of a maritime miracle of sorts.

But, as is the case with most Spies, no matter how far I travel, I can never seem to escape my work. My mind always seems to drift back to the mission. The Chief, dear man that he is, has drilled into me the need always to be sharp. It’s instinct…like a dog making a final check of his surroundings before he curls up in a ball and rests his head for the night. Is it any wonder that I suddenly and begrudgingly recall why I’ve been sent on this nautical errand?

The Chief left me explicit instructions that I’m to check out musical instrument stores in southern Connecticut and inquire about beginner six-string acoustic guitars. Two modes of transportation would be made available to me: boat and automobile. Ordinarily, I might marvel at the proficiency of the agency and its ability to spirit me around the country undetected, but I can’t stop my mind from wandering right now. Mentally I’m anywhere, and everywhere, but in the game. Spy mission? What Spy mission?

Alas, I need to snap out of it. WWTCD? Well, for one thing, The Chief would tell me, if he were here, to pull myself together and develop my cover story before I hurt myself (and possibly others). OK…I’m a father looking for an acoustic guitar for my teenage son? No, that won’t work. How about a favorite uncle looking to buy his nephew, who’s in his early teens, his first acoustic? Yeah, that’s it! It’s just quirky enough to pass the smell test.

Secure in my super-secret plans, I lean over one side of the ferry and, through Indian summer’s heat haze, I spot the approaching shoreline, miles ahead of me. Tall glass buildings in the distance shine in the morning sun’s rays; white coastal sands offer me a tantalizing glimpse of a southern New England paradise. Connecticut sings its siren song, and I listen.

Jarring me from my daze are loud creaking noises of the ferry preparing for docking. It seems this ride is almost over—and just in time, too. I was starting to wonder how glorious the return trip would be. But I can’t turn back just yet. Besides, once we reach the shore, there’s a car waiting for me on land. Land. Ugh. It seems so…uncivilized. So…boring. I guess I’ll hold my nose, take the plunge and blend in with the other pedestrians scurrying around, trying to find meaning in this crazy world. OK…time to suit up. Here goes nothing. Ahoy there, landlubbers.

A Sound Choice
267 East Main St.
Branford CT 06405
My first stop is in Branford, visiting a mom-and-pop store that’s been operating for nearly 15 years. This is not a fly-by-night operation, nor is it a very big one, so the guy who runs the place must have some idea of what he’s doing. Still, I had my doubts about it; I thought A Sound Choice would be little more than a glorified online retailer with a token storefront.

Tucked in a small, well-kept shopping center along Connecticut Route 146, the store reveals itself over a grassy ridge as I pull into the adjacent parking lot. There’s something quaint about its tiny entrance that smacked of bohemia and those tiny seasonal shops run by ex-hippies you’d find in beach communities all along the Eastern Seaboard.

However, judging a store by its outward appearance is a huge mistake—one that I’ve learned the hard way. A Sound Choice may be nestled in the quiet molehills of suburbia, its atmosphere sweetly radiating a laidback vibe, but there’s nothing casual about the store’s inventory. Just from my initial perusal of the merchandise, I can tell that the place had a decent smattering of acoustics.

“I’ll be right with ya,” said a voice from a back office.

The guy, who I assume is the Owner, finishes whatever business he was transacting and approaches me. He’s a fairly tall guy, and I notice his earring right away. I immediately suspect he’s a local veteran rocker who spends his time trying to educate the kids in his area. (Noble of him, I say.)

I explain that I’m looking to buy an acoustic guitar for my nephew, and Rocker Dude asks me a few questions about the child’s age and height. Rocker Dude is attentive, but not too chummy. Slightly pressed for time, but not aloof.

Taking in all my information, he leads me to three different acoustic guitars: a Samick G Series Greg Bennett dreadnought (with a spruce top, mahogany back, sides and neck, and die-cast tuners) going for $199, an Ibanez PF series orchestra model with a spruce top and mahogany neck and body ($229), and a concert-sized, 39-inch steel-stringed Indiana Dakota with a six-pin rosewood bridge, adjustable trussrod and chrome machine heads ($119). They’re all pretty good lookin’ guitars for the asking price, and much better than the starter models I remember from decades ago.

The Dude mentions some other brands, including his assortment of Crafter guitars, but admits that they are a bit pricey for my purposes. Interestingly, the Dude doesn’t push one model more than any of the others, which I’m thinking is a savvy business move. He explains that if my nephew were to take six half-hour lessons for $300, he would receive the Indiana guitar free. Better to have him “actually playing the guitar he’s been learning on,” he tells me.

I am about to ask the Dude if he could demonstrate how these guitars sound, but then I suddenly change my mind. Not asking him to perform on the models in question would be an even better metric, I think, from an MI Spy perspective. This way, I can more properly measure the salesperson’s desire to seal the deal. Having said this, the Owner does not perform on any of the guitars for me. However, I have confidence that he is a straight shooter and is steering me, the prospective consumer, in the right direction. The Dude gives me the impression that I’m dealing with someone who understands the product, understands guitar students and doesn’t have a lot of time for BS. In every way, a businessman. (Maybe an ex-hippie turned businessman?)

I ask for a card—“Nice to meet ya,” I say—and off I go into the blazing sun. As I hop into my transport vehicle, I say to myself, “It’s a beautiful day and we’re off to a good start. Not too shabby.”

Sam Ash
95 Amity Rd.
New Haven, CT 06515
Heading south on both U.S. Route 1 and I-95, I arrive at my next stop: Sam Ash in New Haven. As I walk into the store, I’m greeted with a hello and a smile by one of the employees. (I like this place already!) Without too much trouble, I find the acoustic guitar department and notice some models on the floor; others are displayed in a glass-wall room near the back of the store. Before I make an attempt to go into this room, a slim, bearded, shaggy-haired, smiling salesman asks how he can help me today. That’s service for you.

Without further ado, he shows me a variety of acoustics, including some used ones, such as a limited edition Fender Hard Rock Café (with the tourist trap’s insignia emblazoned on the face of this black beauty) fetching $119, and several pristine Carlo Robelli guitars at various price points.

The Robellis look tempting, but the salesman, still smiling, does not recommend any of them to me. Yet, these affordable guitars fit within the parameters of my search, meeting the requirements of both price and style. Nonetheless, I accept the salesman’s advice at face value and move on.

Next, The Real Slim Shaggy shows me to a few more guitars, including a spruce-top Yamaha FG700S ($199.95) and a satin-finish Breedlove Passport C200 ($349.99). Discussion ensues about the quality of the materials used in each of these guitars, how the wood reacts over time and in different environments, etc. Slim seems to know his stuff. He must be a player himself, I think, as I spy his extra long fingernails.

Without me having to ask him, Shaggy says, “I’ll play a couple of these acoustics for you….” (Oh, geez. I’m going to regret using this as a sales staff performance measurement, I know it.) First, Slim Shaggy picks up the Hard Rock acoustic, then the Yamaha and, finally, the Breedlove, playing each in turn. You know what? The guy is pretty good! He plays a folk-y kind of thing with an undercurrent of polyrhythmic complexity. It reminds me of the churning, rolling waves of the sea that carried me here. (There I go again.)

I tell Shaggy that I’ll have to think about it, asking for his business card. Slim says, “Sure thing” and that he’ll note the models—as well as their prices—on the back of the card. After a little more than a minute, Slim returns.

I leave Sam Ash wondering if all the salespeople at musical instrument stores in southern central Connecticut are as attentive and knowledgeable. On my way out, I notice another retailer in the same shopping center. Always on the lookout for MI outposts, I walk the short distance to Amity Music’s front doors. My hopes soar when I discover that the store is open, but by appointment only. More proof of how vital Sam Ash must be to the surrounding area and its local musicians.

Guitar Center
50 Boston Post Rd.
Orange, CT 06477
Of all the stores I visit during my recent jaunt through the Northeast, Guitar Center in Orange has the most “curb appeal.” As I approach the location, I’m struck by the huge glass atrium above the entrance; this openness suggests a kind of transparency—a now-familiar blast of MI retailing fresh air—that bodes well for this location, I think.

As I make my way toward the acoustic guitar section, I spot a nicely laid out showroom, which features neatly kept floor models (many of them used) and a glass-enclosed room (similar to the one at Sam Ash) to house a variety of acoustics, including Yamahas, Mitchells and Breedloves, among others. Incredibly, directly behind this room is a second glassed-off guitar studio (of sorts), complete with sliding doors and numerous acoustics out of my price range. In fact, the room looks so pristine that it practically screams, “Off limits!”

I search elsewhere. As I traipse through the first guitar room, I notice a salesman helping a middle-aged couple. They’ve latched onto an acoustic and, in turn, the sales guy seems to have clung onto them. Tightly. I stealthily follow them, attempting to get the sales guy’s attention, but without (I hope) being too obvious about it.
After several minutes of this cat-and-mouse game, it’s apparent that the salesman couldn’t care less. At one point, he even holds the door open for me, smiles and allows me to pass through into the showroom (again). How great. Yet, he doesn’t bother to engage me. He offers no “Be right with you” or “Wait a moment and I’ll take care you, guy.” Nothing. Instead, he leaves me in the dust and heads to the front of the store, presumably to “walk up” the sale. I don’t know when I slipped on this Cloak of Invisibility, but it must have been somewhere inside the first guitar room, I think. One thing was for sure: This guy’s no Rocker Dude or Slim Shaggy. He’s more like Slim Saggy.

While I flip over price tags to check the dollar amounts of many of the guitars on the floor, busying myself (or so I think) before Saggy returns, I notice that no one—not a single, solitary soul—is looking in my direction. Not even the other customers. For all the good it will do, I glance—well, glare is more like it—at Saggy, who’s yukking it up with his co-workers near the store’s entrance. Glad you’re all having a great time….

Fuming and fully irritated, and just about ready to call the game, I think, “I came here for a reason. Now it’s just a matter of figuring out what that is!”

In order to get a better read on the place, I cave and break one of my Spy tenets: I head over to the guitar department desk where a shorter, different salesman, who’s talking on the phone, ignores me (surprise!) for a minute or two. I find myself beginning to wonder if I really am invisible, Cloak or no Cloak. In Desk Man’s defense, his conversation does seem to be semi-store related, so I temper my boiling-point anger. But, I suppose my facial expression is speaking volumes, as Desk Man quickly ends his call and asks if he can help me. (That’s a loaded question, given the kind of service I’ve been experiencing. I don’t know…can you help me?)

After taking me through the first guitar room, which I had been in and out of about a million times (I stopped counting after the 999,999th time), Desk Man goes into his pitch. It seems everything in the acoustic guitar department is all about the package deal. For instance, GC is running a special on a Yamaha GigMaker standard dreadnought for $129, which includes a gig bag, an instructional DVD, tuner, strap, strings and picks. Other Yamahas are on sale, too, such as the FG700S, which I’d also seen at Sam Ash, but it’s marked down to $169 here. The GigMaker Deluxe dreadnought, which comes with all the accessories mentioned above, is being sold for $169. Lastly, there’s a Breedlove D200SMP ($249, including gig bag).

These are some great deals, but what really is the difference between one guitar and a competing brand? The salesman simply says that they all perform similarly, but that you really can’t go wrong with a Yamaha. Well, at least Desk Man narrows it down for me.

Granted, I learned a bit about the range of choices in this market, but I’m unsure that this experience would persuade me to chart a special course through Boston Post Rd. just to buy a musical instrument at GC. It’s my firm belief that had I not walked over to the sales desk, I simply wouldn’t have been helped at this store. No one even made an attempt to approach me. However, as with most Guitar Centers, the inventory was fairly extensive and the layout of the showroom and guitar department was the best I had seen all day.

Still, could cool gear and cosmetics suppress my bad memories of Saggy and convince me that GC is the place to beat? I’d reserve judgment. After all, there was one more stop to make.

Route 1 Guitars
189 Bridgeport Ave.
Milford, CT 06460
As I near the end of this MI Spy southern Connecticut journey, I zip down U.S. Route 1 to the appropriately titled retail guitar outlet that is its namesake. Route 1 Guitars is such a hot-rodded name that I can’t escape the thought that this will be the M.I. equivalent of a party store. I imagine that there’ll be wall-to-wall salesmen literally throwing acoustic guitars at me, begging me to check out the merchandise; there’ll be loud, picks-a-flyin’ jam sessions accompanied by automated moving lights, dancing babes in steel cages, lions and tigers, and even a DJ with two turntables and a microphone. Musical mayhem and rock ‘n’ roll debauchery all around.

When I roll up to the establishment, all of my preconceived notions are washed away in a flash. “Exciting” would not be a word used to describe this store. Still, although no party atmosphere exists here, the relative calm is actually a welcome change from the nerve-wracking nonsense I had experienced in Orange. And, what’s more, I stumble upon a great selection of acoustic and acoustic-electrics up against the sidewall.

Then, suddenly, a bright-eyed young woman with dark hair pokes her head around the corner. She appears to be cleaning the place: She has a white towel in her hands and wears dark shorts, of the sort one might slip on for marathon running. (The Spy has always been drawn to a woman with an hourglass-shaped…guitar.)

Bright Eyes steers me toward a thatch of Takamine guitars and, finally, one in particular: a spruce-topped Jasmine S35 series dreadnought ($129), which, she explains, hasn’t even been removed from its shipping box yet. “But, you know what? We really should have one Takamine on display, anyway….”

Bright Eyes proceeds to tear open one of the boxes and reaches for the Takamine. Wow…I didn’t mean for her to do that. She’s certainly grabbing my attention and instilling more than a little guilt in me. I almost feel compelled to buy the thing after she’s gone through so much trouble. Well played, Bright Eyes. Well played. Truth be told, though, I’m glad she opened one of those Takamine coffins. Had she not, I never would have seen the guitar up close. Bright Eyes cradles the Jasmine in her arms and plucks a couple of the strings to demonstrate its sound. I’m not sure if she’s a guitarist, but I’ll give her an “A” for effort.

Even after this endearing display, I remain neutral about the item, however. Bright Eyes, on the other hand, isn’t fazed in the slightest. She hangs the brand-new, factory-issued guitar on the wall and casts her final baited hook to reel me in. If I buy the Takamine, she’ll give me a $10 discount on a gig bag and a 10-percent markdown on lessons. I’m intrigued. (I’m thinking that it’s too bad my nephew—pretend or otherwise—doesn’t live in the state.) But am I moved by those eyes or nato wood sides?

When I slyly ask for a business card, she hands me a golden, pocket-sized billboard. I look down to check out to whom I’ve been speaking, but it’s immediately obvious that the card she’s given me isn’t actually hers. Wrong gender. (Curses! Outmaneuvered again!) It seems Connecticut’s siren song has claimed me as a victim after all.

The Sale
I’m usually not overly diplomatic, but you can’t go wrong with the inventory and selection at any of these stores. It’s a tough call, but, upon serious deliberation, I’d have to say the winner is Sam Ash in New Haven. I have to hand it to Slim for his obvious knowledge and showmanship. He had me sold. In fact, Sam Ash very nearly single-handedly legitimized the entire New England mission.
Bon voyage, Shaggy!

This Ranger, or “Spy,” won’t be so over-the-top as Mr. Hamer was, but the winner this month will really have to earn it. We’re going to investigate from the top down, going beyond the call of duty if we have to, and we won’t quit until we get the job done.

The Chief wants me to find the best place in the Dallas area to buy a wireless microphone system. The fictitious story—my “spiel,” if you will—that I’ll use is this: I don’t know anything about these things, so I need all the help I can get. I want a wireless mic system, preferably a handheld, but I’ll consider a headset even if that Okie Garth Brooks uses one. I’ll use it for my valiant attempts at performing at gigs that don’t pay me anything, or maybe at business presentations. I plan on spending about $500. Although I’m not an expert on modern electronics like this, I am tech-savvy enough to go through the complete sales and marketing process of modern times. The retailer that’s most on board has the best shot at getting my business.

That means, to begin with, I do an online search, utilizing the power of the Internet. This narrows it down a bit, so I don’t spend all day in Dallas traffic wasting precious gasoline (or tiring out my horse). I don’t care who you are—MI/electronics dealer or seller of hubcaps and shoes—you need a Web site. And, the more useful and informative it is for me, the better it is for you. So, I start Googling….

Ah-ha! An old name pops up: Brook Mays. Used to have great service from them, whether buying stuff for an old fiddle or renting a band instrument for the youngsters, but they closed their brick-and-mortar stores a few years ago, concentrating solely on band instrument rental online, at least for a few years.

In the last year, they reopened a few stores around town. I see a wireless mic system or two mentioned on the site, so I call one Brook Mays location; they refer me to the flagship store, so I call there. I get a phone tree…then a real human finally answers. They say they sell wireless mic systems only via their site, and then they patch me over to someone who can help, but whose voice recording begs me to leave them a message.
This won’t work…no one ever returns phone messages, right?

I might be unfair here, since Brook Mays has just resurfaced and may be working out some bugs. They might not even concentrate on this kind of product. I really do wish them luck; they were truly great once, and I hope they can be great again.

In my further online searching, mediocre sites coupled with mediocre phone contacts did not pass muster with this Texas Ranger. Good sites with good phone contacts—or really good on either one—yielded me a few more potential places to do bidness.

It’s time to see whether these four finalist cowboys can wrangle.

Dave Anderson’s Zoo Music
11224 Garland Rd.
Dallas, TX 75218
They have a site under construction (hurry up, guys!), but this chain of three stores has a longstanding reputation in the area. I call one location, and the guy on the phone is friendly and helpful, recommending a couple models they have in stock within the price range I was looking for.

I pulled into their parking lot, which has plenty of room and easy access off Garland Rd. The neighbors include a tire store that seems to have seen better days and an old house that seems boarded up. The outside of this Zoo Music location looks funky enough. You’re instructed to “Push” inward on a door without a handle.

Once inside, it’s still funky but functional, in a comfortable way: amps, speaker cabinets and drum kits stacked all over the place; guitars, basses and other instruments, both new and used, dangling from the walls. I was greeted quickly and amiably by one of Zoo’s associates.

I gave him my spiel. He showed me over to the counter and, true to what I was told on the phone, presented the two systems they carried: both single mic systems. The Shure PGX24/SM58 sold for $399, and the Peavey PV1 was $149. He said both were reliable and had not had any customer complaints, with the Peavey being the more basic system. He opened both boxes to show what came inside, all the while saying that, for the purposes I stated, either model would be fine.

He said they would have to order dual or multi-mic systems, because Zoo Music normally did not stock these.

After chatting a bit, I asked if they had any literature on these two models or if the boxes had some sort of scan code; they didn’t have either, but the associate invited me to snap a picture of each box to keep handy. He mentioned also that one could find info on the Shure and Peavey Web sites (which I did), and this is something I hope they consider when their Web site gets back up and running: simply provide links to their manufacturers’ sites.

Did he have a business card? I asked, but no. They had temporary slips of paper with all the contact info, and I added his name to the one he gave me. Hopefully they’ll have some new cards along with the new Web site.

Upon leaving Zoo Music, I had trouble trying to pull the door shut! It was 105° that afternoon, and I doubt they wanted to cool the whole outdoors.

Guitar Center
7814 N. Central Expressway
Dallas, TX 75206
As many other cadets from MI Spy Academy have noted, chain stores like this can be a mixed bag: Some locations are great, and some not so much. And, sometimes, the same store can present two different scenarios! This location is usually pretty solid in my past experience. Their Web site, of course, is fantastic, they being the industry leader.

Phone-wise, the Guitar Center response was very good. Someone answered, switched me to the electronics department and someone there picked up after a ring and a half. They told me they had five or six models, perhaps three in my range, and almost always had them well stocked.

As with a lot of businesses along the frontage road to N. Central Expressway/U.S. 75, getting in and out of the parking lot of this particular Guitar Center is tricky. The big sign overhead gives you a general sense about where to turn, but overshoot the entrance to their parking lot and it could take going halfway to three state lines to get back. Adjacent businesses warn you with signs that their parking is for their patrons only, but so does Guitar Center. This Guitar Center’s lot is a bit smaller than others in the chain are, and lacks elbowroom, but, luckily, there were enough spaces to make parking easy on the day I arrived.

The usual GC greeter greeted me, and I was familiar enough with their layout chain-wide to find the Pro Audio department quickly. After a minute or so looking at the wall behind the counter and various placards advertising wireless mic systems, I wandered a bit and was greeted by an associate who introduced himself, also asking, “Can I help you find something?”

I told him I was gathering info on wireless systems.

“How will you use it?” he asked.

I gave him the same scenario—amateur performances; business use—that I had used at Zoo Music.

“OK, let me show you where they are. I have to help check out this other guy first, but look around. Keep in mind that the price will depend on quality and the number of channels you wish to use,” he helpfully explained.

I looked at the array behind and in front of the counter and, within a few minutes, he was back. He pointed out two choices—a Shure PGX24/SM58 single-mic system and a VocoPro UHF-5800 with four mics. They were probably the best values at $289 and $389, he explained. And, they should be able to do the job for which I needed them.

“Has anyone brought any of these back, either because of workmanship or because of quality issues?” I asked.

“No, these are pretty solid,” he attested.

He did not open a box or have either model on display, so I just had to judge by the box. The VocoPro was on the floor, so it was easy to pick up and read the specs on the outside. The Shure remained behind the counter about seven feet up on the wall.

Acting the complete dummy, I asked if one could use a standard corded mic with some kind of adapter if the situation might call for a special sound. “No…but keep in mind you can always adjust the EQ in the PA system you use to get the effect you want,” my GC salesman explained.

Did they have any literature, a scannable code or something like that for these two models? The associate said they might have some info at the exit, inside the latest sale brochure. (These two models weren’t in that booklet, but other models were.) Also, he reminded me I could find all the details I wanted on the guitar center.com Web site.

Upon researching the Shure and the VocoPro on their site when I got home, both were listed as bestsellers and had decent product reviews overall. Price online matched the store price within $10 or so. If I’d seen at least one of the two boxes open up, it might’ve given me more incentive to buy in the store, as opposed to online. Although the salesman was friendly and courteous, it seemed he was stretched a bit thin and on the lookout for other customers who might have needed help.

Overall, Guitar Center was a decent shopping experience, efficient and personable, but, with so much gear on their floor that one can look at, even if through a glass showcase, I would have liked to have seen more on these systems than the outside of the box.

The next two stops were pro audio dealers/showrooms that also sold to the man (or woman) on the street.

Crossroads Audio
2623 Myrtle Springs
Dallas, TX 75220
Although this audio superstore’s Web site doesn’t have a shopping cart per se, they do have links to many of their manufacturers’ sites and info. The phone experience was excellent. The guy answering asked as many questions as he got. (Showing interest in lil’ ol’ me? Well, what do you know?). He said there were three or four models that might be right for me. He recommended a Sennheiser ew 100 G3 in particular and gave me the price…but said he had a decent Shure model in that range, too.

Pulling into their parking lot adjacent to their freight bay, Crossroads looked like the rest of the businesses in the neighborhood (warehouses, mostly). Opening the door, I stepped into a small showroom: product on gondola fixtures and end caps, and plenty of stock lining the walls, with adjacent offices where the sales crew operates at their desks. I took about five steps inside before I was greeted by one of them.

After telling him what I was looking for, he showed me over to the counter, where they had four to five wireless mic system models stocked in decent quantity. I’m not sure this salesman was the same one whom I talked to on the phone, but he, too, recommended the Sennheiser as being the best bang for the buck overall at $599.

This salesman also pointed me in the direction of the Shure PGX series at $375 (they had five Shure models overall), a MIPRO model and, on the lower end (at $99), a one-channel model from Audio-Technica.

He explained the uses of frequencies and how the 700 bandwidth is no longer being used, the values of metal versus plastic construction (the Sennheiser was all-metal construction, and therefore more durable), and many other helpful lessons on buying wireless mic systems. At the end of a detailed pitch, he, like the other stores, gave me the impression the Shure PGX24/SM58 was probably the best model for my needs. One thing he pointed out that the others stores did not, however, was that the Shure came with an adapter clip for mic stands. Neat! I do have a mic stand and usually have my hands full when playing music.

He gave me his card and recommended I find more info on the manufacturers’ sites. Crossroads’ site, as mentioned before, has links to many of their manufacturers’ sites. But, alas, not to Shure or to Sennheiser. They did have a link to Audio-Technica, but I could not locate MIPRO on the Crossroads site’s menu of “We Are Dealers For….” Links to more manufacturers would help their site a lot.

Sound Productions
6631 N. Beltline
Irving, TX 75063
Sound Productions’ Web site highlighted various specials they were running at the time, but had, like Crossroads’ site, no shopping cart. It was packed with info nevertheless, acting as a portal to the manufacturers they carry…many more links by percentage than Crossroads’ site had had.

Sound Productions’ site claimed they’d “beat any price.” I called and got the receptionist, who patched me over to someone who could help. This expert took a while to pick up and, when he did, the phone volume was pretty low, so I could barely hear him. (Come on ya’ll! You’re in the business of making people heard!) But, he was very good and knowledgeable, mentioning models in my range from Shure and Sennheiser to Audio-Technica and more.

A side note: Sound Productions’ keyboard logo has emblazoned many an equipment road case for some of the biggest touring bands since 1973, much of that time in a relationship with Showco and Vari-lite. So, quite a reputation preceded them before I paid a visit!

Sound Productions recently moved their offices/showroom/warehouse from the area near Crossroads to the vicinity of DFW Airport. Their address was a bit deceiving, but I eventually found them among a group of four or five large warehouses. There was ample parking. I wandered in the front door and two receptionists were talking; they told me to come in and look around. They paged for a salesman to seek me out on the floor, twice within a minute.

The showroom is basically the areas around a bunch of cubicles housing the salesmen. Gear sits on the floors and hangs along the walls, and it was one or two minutes before a salesman sought me out. He gave me a friendly greeting, and asked what I was looking for. So, I gave him my by-now-well-worn spiel.

He went into the warehouse out back and came out with the Shure SLX24/SM58 model, similar to the other Shure products I’d seen but for about $100 more ($475). So, I’m assuming it’s a bit of a step-up from the PGX series. He mentioned headsets and body packs were optional extras with this model, and said that their “walk-in” customers found it reliable. Most of Sound Productions’ business is to contractors and professional sound technicians; some of them even found this model handy. He did not open the box or have a model on display.

I was only shown this one model, in spite of the phone rep saying they had several others. Although I’m leaning toward a Shure at this stage of the shopping process, I wonder if the salesman could have shown me at least one other model. Keep in mind that most of their products were in their warehouse out back, with employee access only.

The salesman gave me his card and referred me to their Web site, where they do have links to every one of their manufacturers.

The Sale
Each of these four stores recognized I was a greenhorn, but none tried to sneer at, talk down to, gouge or oversell me. All stores also were very efficient. I was in and out of each within 15 to 20 minutes.
It’s a dead heat among these four stores, as each has weaknesses but all compensated with their strengths. The perfect store would have Guitar Center’s prices, Zoo Music’s down-home friendly vibes, Crossroads’ know-how and Sound Productions’ legendary reputation. In addition to this, the best Web sites were those of GC and Sound Productions, whereas in-store “bedside manner” was aced by Zoo and Crossroads. Competitive intel would serve these four retailers well, as even the best can always find a way to improve.

Based on all this, I’d have to say the product I would buy would likely be a Shure model PGX or SLX, and the store getting the sale would be Crossroads Audio. The combination of expert advice, broad selection and fair pricing made up for any flaws. But, as mentioned above, if each of these stores learned from the other three, my decision could be a coin flip six months from now.

Today, it takes more than hanging a sign out front to get anyone’s business in any retail endeavor. The decision-making process involves Web presence and good phone skills, along with a physical visit and, in some cases, service after the sale is made, too! Stores nurturing this entire process will certainly win here in the Lone Star State…and the rest of the world.

My assignment, if I chose to accept it (which I did), was to shop four music retail stores in Lexington KY and report back to The Chief on how the stores performed. I have to admit that I did spend some of my time looking for bluegrass, only to find out that I was in the wrong season.

The weather was still warm—OK, it was darn hot—but The Chief wanted this done and I needed to carry out my mission. The strict deadline that he’d imposed forced me to shop in the heat of the summer. It was, as I said, too late to take in the famed blue colors of the state.

Lexington is a beautiful city surrounded by impeccably well groomed horse farms. You could eat off the stable floors. I found people to be warm, kind and laid back.

Doo Wop Shop
443 Southland
Lexington, KY 40503
After a little bit of confusion on the GPS and hitting a McDonald’s for a huge sweet tea to get me through the heat, I stopped at my first destination: Doo Wop Shop. I walked in and found two young men manning the store. I figured these two would know what I needed as The Chief gave me the assignment of looking for a keyboard. “It should be like what you’d play in a rock band,” he had said. I don’t know a lot about that, but I figured I could use the old “my daughter is looking for a keyboard for my grandson” routine. It is somewhat true, as he is taking keyboard in school this year. So, my daughter might be looking for one.

The store was cute in that it lived up to its name, with a classic car sitting out front, “Doo Wop” neatly painted on it. It was a cool ride. The store was in a plaza, well marked and easy to access from a main road.

My first impression? There was a lot of merchandise. It was a good thing. Not blow you away organized, but not irritatingly “can’t find what you want,” either. It was clean and a good size. This is one of four Doo Wop Shops.

I was greeted nicely as I walked in with a “How’s it goin’?”

“Good,” I replied. “How about you?”

“Not too bad,” he said. “What can I do for you?”

I told him I was looking for keyboards. The keyboards were right beside the sales counter, so he came around and stood there with me. I initiated a little more conversation, saying I was looking around and pricing keyboards for my daughter and that my grandson was interested in being in a rock band. I could tell he was not really up on his keyboards, but did not think too much about it. He could have been new or a brass player, etc.

He asked if I thought he (my grandson) wanted a weighted key. “We have several here with weighted keys,” he said. He also pointed out that there was a synthesizer, as well. He asked my price range, to which I candidly responded, “I have no clue.”
He suggested the Casio Privia, saying it was the most popular and it had built-in speakers so that he would not need an amp, but could add one in the future. “That Casio Privia there is going for about,”—get that…“about”—“$785 new and they rent out for $50 a month.” He added that they were nice keyboards.

Then, he pointed out a high-end Roland (FP4F) and, in his words, it went for about “two grand.” He said he would not recommend starting with it. He added that it was an awesome keyboard and that he would highly recommend it if my grandson ever got to that level. That one rented out for $125 a month.

The most inexpensive keyboard was the Casio CDK 2100, which, he said, “goes for about a hundred, I think.” He said it rents for $8 or $9 a month, saying it as though it was a question. He then had me push down on the keys to show me the difference in touch of a weighted keyboard and one that wasn’t. At this point, the other salesman came over and said that the Casio was $119.95 and rented for $8 a month. Now we had that cleared up!

I asked if these keyboards could be set to make different sounds like a synthesizer. He said yes, like organ sounds and piano sounds, and he thought it had a sound bank with percussion.

I asked about the warranty and he said it was just the manufacturer’s warranty and that Doo Wop had a 30-day return policy. I also asked if something went wrong with it and I needed the keyboard fixed where I would need to take it to be fixed, querying whether I would have to send it away. He said they had a number for a repair guy.

He did suggest the Privia with the built-in speakers and played a few notes so I could hear that it had a good tone to it. The other salesman also pointed out that there was a PX130. The first salesman said, “Oh yeah…it goes for what, $300?” Salesman two said it was $540 to $560 and it was still the Casio series, just with fewer features. There was also an M-Audio Pro Keys 88 synthesizer and a Roland GW8, selling for $1,100.

They did have a selection: not huge, but enough to get a good idea of what was out there and the price ranges. I asked if they had lessons at the store and he said no, but he could give me the name of a teacher they would recommend. The second salesperson seemed to be more knowledgeable about the keyboards and prices.

The first gentleman yawned a lot—rough night, I guess, or I was boring him with my questions—but he was pleasant. Not that I am really picky, because I am a laid-back, like-to-be-comfortable person, but they could have been dressed just a little better. It was hard to distinguish if they worked there or were just hanging out.

I thanked them both, told them to have a good day and they said, “You, too! Come back and see us.” I would consider buying there. They were friendly, helpful and pleasant, just not zoned in on the exact prices.

I then drove to my next destination, which was also in a plaza but was not as well marked. It took a little bit of maneuvering to find it. The GPS kept telling me I was there, but the store’s sign, from the road, was not especially visible and, yes, my glasses were clean.

Willis Music
161 Lexington Green Circle
Lexington, KY 40503
I walked through the door of Willis Music and was greeted by salesperson one (Sales 1) sitting behind the counter. He softly said, “Hello.” I asked, “How are you?” He made some loud groaning sound that did not resemble any words I recognized. He continued to sit behind the counter, while salesman two (Sales 2) was helping a customer close by.

The store was set up so that the keyboards and pianos were in a room with a big opening in sight of the sales counter. I wandered around for five minutes and the groaning man continued to sit there. Eventually, the phone rang and he answered it. He spoke with the person on the other end of the phone for quite awhile as I was checking out the keyboards.

I was doing everything an interested customer would be doing: writing down prices, intently looking at the keyboards, holding the tags in my hand and reading them and all the time continuing to look out at the counter, figuring, sooner or later, someone would come and ask me what my interest was.

At this point, Sales 1 was off the phone and sitting there at the computer. Someone else had come in and Sales 2 was helping that person. I continually positioned myself so they could see me, hear me and notice that I was writing things down. I was definitely interested. I began to approach the counter and Sales 1 to ask for help when the phone rang and he answered it.

I was walking all around trying to get their attention, all the time writing down brands of keyboards. Some were marked with prices and some were not. There was no real rhyme or reason to the system…no consistency that I could see. I may not know keyboards well, but I did take merchandising classes at the Yamaha Corporation. This would not have passed the test.

I continued to watch the time as minutes passed and still no one seemed interested in what I wanted to buy. There was a Yamaha keyboard package—PSR E413 with headphones, stand, bench and sustain pedal with a three-year warranty for parts and labor—selling for $399. There was a Roland V Combo Keyboard, VR 700, list price $2,329 selling for $1,999.99 or renting for $80 a month.

I decided to move closer to Sales 2. I was physically standing at the case and counter where the harmonicas were when salesperson two came over and asked a third customer standing there what he was looking for. I stood in the line of sight waiting for him to say something, such as, “I’ll be with you in a moment,” but nothing.

The phone rang and Sales 1 answered it. So, now, he has been sitting there about 20 minutes on and off the phone, while I, the potential customer, was waiting for help. Sales 2 was playing harmonicas and talking about illnesses while I was leaning on the counter watching. I was still not helped. I would like to say that it was an honest mistake, but I felt that I was ignored. In total, four customers were, at some point, waited on by Sales 2, while Sales 1 sat at the counter, answered the phone and then disappeared as I stood waiting to buy an expensive piece of equipment.

I had been in the store for 23 minutes. I heard Sales 2 say something about going somewhere and I assumed he was going to help the harmonica customer to their car with a purchase. There was silence in the store at the count of 26 minutes. I walked over to the first piano, an upright, and leaned on it while staring at Sales 1 back at the counter. He didn’t seem to be doing anything. Once again, as I started over to ask for help, the phone rang and he answered it. That is when I saw Sales 2 was outside smoking. He was there for approximately 12 minutes, while I was waiting for some help.

I continued to move so they could see I was still there and looking at them. Sales 1 answered the phone again and the other was still outside. I do believe the calls were not of a personal nature, but he was friendly and laughing while I was watching and waiting. I continued to watch the man outside smoke and walk around on the sidewalk. He could see me, I’m sure.

I was writing down more prices when I realized a couple of the signs had Christmas trees on them. I have heard of Christmas in July, but I would bet these were still there from last December. I saw a Yamaha Arius Classic (list price: $2,199; purchase price: $1,799.99) and a Yamaha Synthesizer (list price: $1,299; purchase price: $999.99) and renting for $40 per month.

Now at the 38-minute mark, Sales 2 came in and sat down at the counter while I was standing about 15 feet away and Sales 1 had disappeared again. He sat there and messed around on the computer and the phone rang as I was walking toward him to ask for help. He answered it and spoke, with Sales 1 not in sight. (Even with my spy surveillance technology, I could not find him.)

After Sales 2’s phone call ended, he went straight to another customer that had come in while he was on the phone. I was not between him and the customer, but I was within three or four feet of him when he did walk by. He did glance my way, kind of like he was trying not to look at me, if you know what I mean.

I had been in the store for 45 minutes, with plenty of time for either person to help me. I was in sight, most of the time. In all honesty, they both had seen me walk in and browse around.

I did not interrupt them while they were with another customer or on the phone. I did not create a scene as someone might if they were ignored and wanted to buy something. As a true spy, I felt it was important to let them act naturally. But, I did do what probably any potential customer would do at this point: I walked out.

No one stopped me, asked if there was something they could help me with, apologized that they did not help me or even flinched a muscle as I walked by and strolled right out the door.

I normally am not an impatient person…but 48 minutes? I think anyone would have been a little irritated. In 12 minutes short of an hour, no one had said a word other than the original hello and groan.

Walking to the car, I thought that it was too bad that they did not feel the need to at least address the fact I was in the store. The store had a lot of inventory and seemed like you could find just about anything you would need as a musician or future band member. It was a good-sized store with a good selection of keyboards, pianos, instruments, music and more.

Guitar Center
3801 Mall Rd.
Ste. 150
Lexington, KY 40503
The next location, Guitar Center, provided a great improvement in customer service. I was greeted in a friendly manner by more than one salesperson and was walked back to the keyboard selection. The salesperson was asking me questions to qualify just what I was looking for and how I was going to use it.

It was recommended that I buy a keyboard with 88 keys fully weighted. He played a Casio CDP 120 that listed for $599 and sold for $399.99. He said it had a good sound and had jacks for an amplifier or PA system. If I wanted to step up, the Yamaha P95B listed for $899 and sold for $549. He said it had a great sound and played it. Another step up was the Casio PX (list: $899; selling for $699), which he also played. He added that, if I wanted to step up to a Yamaha Work Station, it was $1,000. He also showed me a Roland Synthesizer and demoed it: a JUNO-Di at a cost of $699.

The salesperson recommended the weighted keys because it had the feel of a real piano and was equipment that my grandson could grow up with. He added it should have all 88 keys so he would not be missing notes. “It depends how seriously you are looking to get into it,” he said. The first one he showed me, the Casio, would be good to start with and would last awhile. If my grandson really got into it, then a Work Station would be what I would want.

Guitar Center did not offer lessons, but offered names of teachers. He said they had very good warranty programs. “Two- or three-year coverage,” he said. It covered anything that happened, including broken keys or accidents. He explained that Yamaha had a one-year limited warranty, but would not cover accidents. “You have 60 days to bring it back to the store. If something happens after that, you call the number and the company pays for shipping to send it back for repair or replacement.” He handed me the pamphlet on Guitar Center’s warranty and asked when my daughter planned to come in. I said I wasn’t sure. So, he handed me his card and said she could call him or see him when she came in.

He was pleasant and helpful. The store was organized and had a lot of stock. Several people spoke to me while I was there. I would have considered purchasing the product he had suggested.

Gist Piano Center
3901 Harrodsburg Rd.
Lexington, KY 40513
After a brief iced tea break in my air-conditioned car, I pulled into Gist Piano Center. I was greeted upon opening the door with a very pleasant and upbeat, “Hello.” I was asked what I was looking for. The salesperson asked if it was for me. I said no and that it was for my grandson. I explained that he had taken some keyboard in school and now, of course, wanted to be in a rock band.

She pointed out two full-size keyboards that she thought would be good, saying, in a fun way, “This way, he will have all the appropriate keys.” She added that the keyboards she was showing me had weighted keys and a similar touch to an acoustic piano. The salesperson showed me a Yamaha that she recommended for beginners and said it was very basic and had a few different sounds on it. She demonstrated several sounds, plus the built-in metronome and recording option.

Upon demonstrating the Roland FP4, she said it had hammer action and would be most similar to the feel of an acoustic piano. She had me try it, so I could feel the difference. She explained that there were springs in the keys of the Yamaha and, over time, they could wear out, making a difference in the touch.

Also, the key was more consistent in touch as you pressed it down closer to the keyboard, whereas the Yamaha got tighter as you moved toward the top of the key. It just made a difference in the playability, she said. You could use a flash drive in the Roland if you wanted to play MIDI files and it was possible to combine voices.

The salesperson continued to demo while explaining. She also said the display was just a little bit better to see on the Roland and that it had “supernatural” sound in it, saying it had to do with dynamics. “The keyboards are electronic instruments and, when you keep your finger on the key, it continues to play the recorded sound over and over again, whereas the Roland sound dies out like an acoustic piano.” Both came with a sustain pedal.

The Yamaha was $549 and the Roland package price was $1,988, and that included a month of lessons and headphones. The basic price for the keyboard was $1,699. Both of them had a stand to hold the music.

She said they did not have lessons there at that exact time, but would have them on site very soon. “We have a ‘partners in education’ group with the teachers we work with all over Kentucky,” she said.

And, she explained that she could set my grandson up with lessons and that the teachers would be on-site. “We just did an extension on the store and put in lesson studios. We are still finishing up the touches on that and then there will be lessons here,” she said.

As far as warranty, she said, with the Roland, it was five years and, with the Yamaha, it was one year. If something went wrong with the keyboard, they have people they recommend in the area to fix it.

She was recommending the Yamaha for a beginner, but did reiterate the fact that the Yamaha has springs and the touch would change over time.

She gave me her card and said there was a lot of information on their Web site, including videos to watch and plenty of other things.
They do not rent the keyboards. The important thing to keep in mind, she said, was this: “Most people will quit playing when they start on keyboards, because they don’t get the right keyboard. Some are smaller and the keys are not the appropriate length.”

She shared with me that the way to tell if they were the appropriate length was to take a dollar bill and measure it, showing me that the key should come to the green line. “Shorter keys become a problem, especially if he would play on an acoustic piano or someone else’s piano. His feeling of touch is going to be wrong and it is going to be super frustrating. Also, look for something with weighted keys and that has 88 keys,” the salesperson explained.

She thanked me for coming in and I was to let her know if she could be of more help. “It is exciting that he wants to play,” she said. She explained that, if I was looking for teachers, I could find their profiles, phone numbers, addresses and teaching philosophy on the Web site. I told her I was checking prices, and she said it was good to do my homework. When I left, I thanked her and she said, “You have a great day.” I found this salesperson to be the most knowledgeable of all the stores and very upbeat and friendly, truly wanting me to make the correct choice.

The Sale
So, now it is time for this Spy to choose the winner. I don’t think I can pick a winner! Doo Wop Shop had a decent selection, but the salespeople could have had a little more knowledge. I did like the stock and the fact that they had the two Casios and suggested the one with less features, saying it would be good for someone starting out.

Willis Music in Lexington is out of the running completely. Guitar Center did a good job and had a good selection. The salesman was knowledgeable and pleasant. It was difficult to compare prices, because there were so many different models. However, for the features offered, they were comparable.

As I was spying, I had no idea where I would buy. However, after writing this, if the price were comparable with the other stores…drum roll please…

I would like dealing with Gist Piano Center. That’s because of the salesperson. I felt comfortable with the information she gave me and felt that they would take care of me. She was honest, in-depth about the products and seemed to want my grandson to enjoy the instrument. I would go with the Yamaha because of the price for a beginner, knowing that, if he became serious about playing, Gist would be there to fill future needs.

However, I feel that Guitar Center would be great, as well, and I probably would not hesitate to purchase the products they had from that salesperson. I also would have purchased from Doo Wop, but would have wanted a better price quote and a little more in-depth information.

As an actual consumer, I would repeat my visits to three of the stores and go over prices and features one more time before making the final decision.

I think most of us like pleasant, upbeat salespeople. Gist also had it all together when it came to social media, Web site, QR code and everything else.

Gist just knew their stuff!

Next Stop, Portland (IA)

One day, while sitting around the house, minding my own business, in between spy gigs, I received a welcome phone call from The Chief. His mission directive was for me to search for mid-priced power amplifiers in Portland OR. Always ecstatic to visit the Pacific Northwest, I packed my necessary belongings and headed off. I took the long route into Portland from the north, driving down winding freeways and more green trees, mountains and jaw-dropping beauty than I could even process. As I drove into the downtown area, I observed historic brick buildings clumped under an overcast sky. I felt like I might just run into people I knew around every corner; the city felt safe and familiar. Portland, although big in diameter, feels like a small town. It’s also a young city. People in their late teens, 20s and 30s abound, dressed in skinny pants and bright colors, some wearing thin mustaches, many riding fixed-gear bicycles even in the perpetual downpour coming from the sky. Rumor has it that Portland is sunny during the last months of summer…. I, however, was a bit early to experience that pleasure, although the sun did break the clouds a couple of times while I was in town, shining through the misty air and making the greenery surrounding the city pop in a way that took my breath away.

Apple Music Company
225 SW First Ave.
Portland, OR 97204
The first store on my list was in the Pearl District—apparently, the locals call it little San Francisco because of all the California transplants who live within the area. This nickname is not a loving one: Bumper stickers on cars with the Oregon tree line and the word “NATIVE” give one the feeling that California transplants are not necessarily welcomed. It was raining when I pulled up to the first store on my list. At first, I was confused, because Apple Music has two or three separate store front entrances—one for acoustics and one for electrics—and it appeared one more for used instruments.

The man behind the counter at the acoustic entrance asked if I needed any help and, when I asked for power amps, he pointed me in the direction of the electric storefront one door down.

I walked into a giant, clean warehouse with rows of amplifiers carefully laid out on the floor, a wall of guitars to my left and in front of me as my back faced the front entrance, and a counter to my right. Two gentlemen behind the counter immediately asked me what I was looking for. One of the gentlemen, an unassuming guy in his mid-40s or early 50s, wasn’t satisfied to half-heartedly point me in the direction of an amp, instead asking me specifically what instrument I played, what I was planning on doing with the amp and what my price range was. I made up a tale about playing shows at smaller venues and having a limited budget, but wanting a piece of equipment I could keep with me for a long time hence.

He nodded.

“I’m not going to point you in the direction of something that’s a million dollars,” he said, as he walked me towards a VOX AC15 ($599.99). He filled me in on the two-channel input for jamming with one other musician, the reverb, tremolo and gain options, and generally geeked out on the electronics involved in a tube amp, as opposed to a solid state amp.

We somehow got to talking about recording for a while. “Whether you’re learning from another person or going to school, you have to learn how to do this stuff. It doesn’t come naturally,” he said. He started talking about class A versus class A/B amps and, at this point, my eyes were about to cross. Nevertheless, I truly appreciated his depth of knowledge and ability to talk about every aspect of the equipment he was selling. He mentioned that I might also like a Marshall MC5010, but informed me they didn’t have one on the floor.

He asked if I wanted to try the VOX, and got me a guitar off the wall after asking what my specifications were. I hooked a nice hollow body up to the VOX and boldly played loudly before another salesman, the one who had briefly helped me while the first guy helped another customer, came back and gently turned the volume knob down…significantly. I grimaced. The acoustics of the room were good. It was easy to become carried away, though I normally don’t. I took his hint and toned it down, though I didn’t feel I’d committed any crime.

On the way out, I noticed Orange, VHM, Epiphone Galaxie, Tone King and a plethora of combo amps all lined up in rows in the middle of the floor. I said goodbye and thanked the salesmen for their help before heading back to my car, which was parked on a metered street.

“Be careful,” said the volume-moderating salesmen with a genuine look of concern on his face. “It’s pouring out there.” And it was. The sky was gray, the brick buildings were glistening with moisture and people were driving slowly down the street. I saw a few poor souls walking, but not many. Another Portland day.

Portland Music Company
531 SE Martin Luther King Blvd.
Portland, OR 97214
My next stop was Portland Music Company, which is an easy distance from Apple Music. Portland is set up in a grid fashion, making it much easier to get from point A to point B without getting lost. Portland Music Company’s parking lot wasn’t easily accessible from the direction from which I came, so I calmly drove around the block and located the parking lot, which had ample space. I almost hoped I’d have to park on the street so I could use up the rest of my metered ticket. But, at $1.50 an hour, parking in Portland isn’t horrible, so I shrugged and thought positive thoughts about this beautiful city getting my hard-earned extra cash. Portland Music Company is located in a large warehouse. I walked in and saw gear, gear, gear: from keyboards to drum kits. To my left upon entering was a low counter where two sales clerks were chatting amiably to each other. The more salt and pepper of the two quickly noticed my entrance and came out from behind the counter to ask me what I was looking for. When I filled him in on my search for power amps, he recommended I meet with the specialty sales clerk of that persuasion. Then, he walked me out to where that clerk was working on a company computer along the far wall of the warehouse space, near a wall of shining guitars hung as high as the eye could see, amid amps galore.

As soon as I told him my needs—a mid-range amp for gigging, not too heavy, good quality, clean sound—and asked if maybe the VOX might be a good start, he agreed. He also recommended a couple of other options, but not before explaining the difference between hand-wired and solid state amplifiers. He recommended a Fender Blues Junior ($499.95). He discussed clean channels versus dirty channels and then walked me around the floor to the VOX AC15, which was in a room to the side. He pointed to a vintage hand-wired AC15, telling me that, if he had the cash, he would get it because of the hand-wired advantage. He seemed enamored of the hand-wired models as opposed to the tube or solid state models.

But the real treat came when I asked what a person who gigs at coffee shops might need. He got very excited and took me around the display to a four-watt VOX AC4TV. He told me the volume is great and, if you’re doing solo gigs, this is really just as good as having one of the bigger amps, because you don’t really need all that power. He grabbed me a lefty Telecaster and plugged me into the VOX; I was in heaven. As I was playing around with the Teli, I ruminated on the fact that there are actually some very affordable guitar models available these days that truly sound great.

“It’s crazy,” the clerk said. “Years ago, you couldn’t get guitars like that for the same price. Now, you have all sorts of options.”

On an anecdotal side note, as I was driving to my next destination, I found that I was being followed by a bicyclist who had started yelling, “Whoa! Whoa!” Thinking maybe I had not seen him and he was upset because of that, I looked at him in my rearview mirror and raised my eyebrows. He followed me a couple of blocks and, when I reached a stoplight, I rolled down my window to find out what he was yelling about. “You just blew through that stop sign back there,” he said. “There could have been children.” I hadn’t noticed a stop sign, but I told him thanks for pointing it out.

Portland has many streets where there is a stop sign on the cross streets but not on the thoroughfare streets. Maybe I had missed a stop sign on one of the cross streets, but, being outside of my normal element, I wasn’t sure. He, however, continued to yell at me, saying that I could have hit children and I was stupid. The driver next to me chimed in, having noticed I was holding my phone for directions, and added, “Yeah, and look at that. Texting!”

Finally, the stoplight changed after the longest minute of my recent life. I was astounded. Even in New York City and San Francisco, I hadn’t once encountered a bicyclist who followed me for many blocks to yell about a perceived slight, accusing me of a wrong I wasn’t even sure I had committed. The TV show “Portlandia” came to mind, and I could see the whole exchange reenacted as a skit. As I turned off the road down which the cyclist had disappeared, I tried to focus on the trees lining the streets and not my irritation at the cyclist’s irate accusations.

Showcase Music
3401 SE Hawthorne Blvd.
Portland, OR 97214
Next stop, Showcase Music. The neighborhood I drove into was boutique filled, and included a vintage clothing shop and an Aveda hair salon. I passed Showcase Music, a tiny, box-like store hugging the corner of Hawthorne and SE 34th Ave. I easily found free parking one block away on a corner.

When I walked in, I noticed a floor filled with amplifiers to my right. To the left was a counter, at which a heavy-set man with a beard and ponytail was talking on the phone when I entered. He nodded at me as I walked in and asked me if I needed anything.

I asked him if they had any power amps. He made no move to get up, but asked me if I was looking for acoustic or electric amps. When I stated electric, he pointed in front of him toward the floor, where an ample supply of amps was stacked underneath and out in front of some hanging guitars along the back wall. There was a counter for guitar repair in the back of the shop, but it seemed not to be staffed at that moment.

I walked along the floor without a peep from another salesman, and jotted down the amps I noticed. A Fender Mustang III ($299.99), Fender Mustang II ($269.99), the VOX AC15 ($599.99), VOX VT 80+ ($399.99), a Fender Blues Junior ($529.99), Fender Deluxe Reverb ($1,399.99), Fender Custom ($899.99), Fender Super Sonic ($1,049.99), Peavey ValveKing ($419.99) and many more amps lined the floors. The majority seemed to be Fender and Peavey products.
Unlike the previous two stores, I wanted to get my information and leave at this point. I walked out without any further words with the two guys in the store.

Trade Up Music
1834 NE Alberta St.
Portland, OR 97211
I was pretty excited to go check out Trade Up Music, as I had heard from a number of locals during my short stay in Portland that the NE Trade Up location was a great place and they all knew people who went there often. I found parking easily on the street and walked down to the store, which was painted in dark shades of burgundy and blue. I walked in and the 20-something clerks on duty were occupied behind the long counter to the right of the entrance. I saw stairs to a second story and, to my right, toward the back corner of the bottom floor, I saw a stack of power amps. Seeing nobody to whom to ask any questions who wasn’t already occupied, I walked straight to the amps and started to survey what was available. I passed a counter of pedals and other shiny gear on my way to the corner, dedicated to what appeared upon further scrutiny to be used amps. The store was painted yellow and black inside, and had a good visual atmosphere. Although the clerks were busy, and I felt a bit slighted that none of them looked up, acknowledged me or said hello, it looked like they were merely occupied with other customers, seemingly not slighting me on purpose. One of them finally said hi, but then turned back to his customer immediately.

As an intrepid spy, I got to my mission right away, pulling out my trusty notebook and pen to jot down the gear I could see right away. I immediately noticed a used Fender Twin ($799.99), a seemingly used Fender Cyber Twin ($499), a used Roland Jazz Chorus JC120 ($399.99), a used Fender Deluxe Vintage modified tube amp ($399) and a seemingly new VHT Classic Tube Amp ($349). I noticed various other brands, including Marshall, Sunn and more Fenders, but it appeared that the gear as a whole was used. In all the time I spent surveying the gear, not a single salesman approached to say hello.

I decided to leave the store once I’d thoroughly sussed all of the available amps I could see. As I was leaving, one of the clerks said hello in a weird way, as though it were a question. But, at this point, I was married to the idea of departing from the store, seeing nothing else to investigate.

The Sale
Out of all the stores I checked out in Portland, my favorite, by far, was Portland Music Company. Not only were the clerks friendly, helpful and ready to geek out on the benefits of different gear, but it also had an abundant selection of amps and access to ordering almost any amp for which you could wish. The energy was good and the store was enormous, but kept well organized and clean. The parking lot was easy to access from a one-way street. The clerk geeked out with me on gear, and I felt I could loiter and poke around in the store for hours and no one would be bothered. That’s the way a music store should feel. The runner up, of course, would be Apple Music Company, due to the equally impressive expertise of the clerks and their wide selection. I also felt Apple was a comfortable place to try out gear and just ask questions.

The Trade Up Music I visited seemed to have some interesting gear, and a very nice décor, but I wish the clerks had been a little more helpful and attentive. Showcase Music didn’t seem to have the personality of Trade Up or Portland Music Company,and I didn’t feel comfortable asking questions due to the demeanor of the clerks.
One more successful mission in the books, I headed home for a well-deserved rest.